Thursday, May 8, 2008

Power Rankings 05/08/2008

Yeah, that’s right bitches…rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated…probably by Ben Smith…that asshole.

1) The Laser Cats

Any time you lead off a roster with the two best baseketballers of all time, you’re going to be the favorites going into the season. I’m not buying into all the talk of the two stars not being able to co-exist. I think both are going to be willing to change their game a little to hoist the left eye at the end of the year. The lame duck President has a habit of winning SBL championships every other year, and I think he has a good shot this year. I have a strong suspicion that this team will be intact come playoff time, and we already know that Terry can play with only one teammate if needed during the regular season.

2) Team Fro

This season looks to be a lot different for young captain Terry Hall. While last year was certainly a painful one, he has the talent to go all the way this year. If the Laser Cats have a team of players that may face chemistry issues at first, team Fro’ will have that going in, as many of the players have played with each other before. The key to their success really will be the emergence of Hall as one of the marquee names in the league, on par with the Frankovichs and Moroccos of the league (if not in the Shernisky/Tomko category). McClelland will certainly miss several weeks at the start of the year, but should be there more as the year goes on. There is also an outside shot that Shelley Goodpastor could be lured out of exile….which would spell doom for the rest of the SBL. My lone critique would be for them to dump these ringers and pick up Big Ted.

3) Team Frank

I don’t know what the hell Frankovich was thinking picking up so many players who dislike him. I’m not talking about the fake rivalry that many of us have with B-Frank either. Big Whitey just does not like him. That said, Bryan is the third best player in the league…and Aryn isn’t far behind.

4) Voltron

I couldn’t agree more with the fact that the best thing that could have happened to Mike Frankovich was to be free of his brother’s captaining. It’s like in that movie A League of Their Own. He’s going to get much better this year playing under Billy. This is certainly the most likeable team in the league…if they traded Gavin St. John for Pat Nespor, they might have the most likeable team of all time. I only wish they had someone with a little more fire to play under the basket with Billy.

5) Kyoto Kamikaze

Morocco better start praying that Jon, PJ and Greg all come regularly…which is a pretty big reach. This could finally be the season that Mikey steps out from B.Frank’s shadow and carries a team of his own. The question is what kind of team will he be carrying.

6) Team Fear the Sun
I don’t know many of the people on Kip’s roster, but I do know Ben and Dennis. I can’t see Dennis showing up week in and week out, and I just don’t see who is going to be the go-to guy on this team. This could change quickly once we get a look at these rookies.

7) The Fleshy Funbridges

The knowledge that Jamie Moroco is boinking some dude that isn’t me certainly plays into this ranking. But almost as scary is the rumor that George “The Juice” Kovac is now drug free and has lost about 30 pounds. We all saw how that worked out for Giambi. Will he be the same player without the Human Growth Hormone or the roid rage? Will he even come for a captain who to my knowledge he has little connection to? Let’s just say I’m looking for Fat Ass Davis to get a lot of action this year…which isn’t a good thing if Rando actually wants to win this year.

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