Saturday, August 2, 2008

Mac's Mailbag: 2008 Playoffs Week One

Rumors are swirling around the SBL that Queen captain Bryan Frankovich almost quit the league last week. Do you think the Frankovich hating will rear its head again in the playoffs?

No, in most instances the playoffs are run strictly on the up and up. I mean, we’ll still make snide remarks about him…but if he loses in the playoffs it will be because he got beat, not because he was put in the penalty box for not shooting a homer.

Should Oatcake have sent Shelley Goodpastor to the Kamikazies instead of Katie Kelly?

Man…that is a really tough one. I’m going to say that I’m biased. Shelley has always been one of my favorite sbl superstars. That said, there is no question that Shelley isn’t as lights out from triple and beyond as she has been in the past. But, I also think you have to consider best and worse case. Katie is more of a given. She is going to make 4 of every 5 from the double stripe without thinking about it. Shelley meanwhile might only make 7 of 10 at the same range….but Shelley has way more exploding potential, and I have to think she’s more than capable of putting up one of her ungodly 13 of 14, 3 homer, 10 RBI games. Of course, she has to show up for this to come true.

Do you still agree with your statement a few weeks ago that Oatcake and the Queens are the only teams with a realistic shot to beat the Cats in a three game series?

If anything, I’d change my prediction to include only the Queens and not expand the list. I do however think that the blockbuster trade between Oatcake and Jukebox gave both of them a punchers chance. But the Queens have far and away the best shot.

Are you a fan of the current playoff format that has the first place team going all the way to finals?

No, but I honestly can’t think of better one. I didn’t like the idea of not playing for a week in 2004…and I think it does take the possibility of a crazy upset out of the mix. But, the only way to do it would be to leave a team out of the playoffs…and I’m not betting that team would show up if they weren’t in the playoffs.

Which of the four teams without a first round bye is the most likely to make a deep playoff run?

Without a doubt that is Jukebox Hero. The addition of Katie Kelly was a piece that they desperately needed, and if Mike can get Pasci’s ass out of bed I would actually consider them favorites over the Democracy. I also think they have the firepower to surprise Oatcake.

How will any team defeat the mighty laser cats? Maybe by pulling a tonya harding on Terry and Nate? Or is there no hope?

There’s not much hope, but the Cats have looked beatable in the latter stage of the year. The more people who show up for their team, the less at bats that Tomko and Shernisky get. If you can keep persuading Billy “Mini Ted” Deforest to jack up homers and can throw off Spohn, things could get interesting.

Lame duck President Nate Tomko has admitted that things didn’t really work out this year as far as parity in the league is concerned…how do we get back to 2006 and 2007 when any team could pretty much beat any other?

I’m giving him a Presidential mulligan on this season. He couldn’t have known that so many vets would hang it up, or that Bob Spohn would play like one of the super heroes tattooed on his arms. The following people have more to do with the lack of parity than Viceroy Tomko: George Kovac, Jamie Moroco, John Olsavsky, all three Lackeys, Lenny Crist, Ben Smith, Chuck Music, Dank Elly, Jamie Fabian and Mike Frankovich’s parole officer.

Which court would you like to see host the second week of the playoffs?

I’m a big fan of Hoffa Centre…but I didn’t get to play at Buttsex Ballpark this year.

Ben Smith has pretty much made a career out of his legendary performance during the playoffs a couple years ago. Who could be the player this year that could surprise us by having a career playoffs?

One player that comes to mind is Terry Hall. He’s been inconsistent, has never really been an integral part of a deep playoff run, and is not really mentioned among the best players in the league. A Ben Smithian playoff run and an Oatcake finals berth would make a lot of people forget that he had a lower batting average than his girlfriend and John Offutt this regular season.

Do you think the offensive friendly low hoop at the Nespor house will help or hurt the lower seeds this Sunday?

Not really either. I think everybody wins when we play at the Superdrome. While it certainly makes it easier for Mike and Pasci to drain homers, I know for a fact that Kip Corbett loves that middle homer at the Nespor house.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Mac's Mailbag 07-18-2008

A special thank you to Ben, Mike, and Bryan for submitting questions this week.

You were the only one with a last name other than Frankovich that thought the Queens would pull off the win last week. So, what chance do the rest of the teams have at stealing the left eye from our baseketball overlords?

While I like to say that any team can beat any other on any given week, that just hasn’t been the case this entire year. I don’t think it’s a secret that only the queens and oatcake have even a punchers chance of beating the cats in a three game series. The Queens and Oatcake both have flaws that are more of an issue than the occasional slow start of the Cats…and I think that losing last week did nothing but take the pressure off of the Laser Cats.

Does anyone other than fan favorite Opie Neff have a shot at winning rookie of the year?


Where do you think the SBL will be in 1 year? How about 5 years?

I didn’t think I would ever be saying this, but I can honestly say I don’t see the SBL going away next year and will probably be around in some form or another 5 years from now. It’s more fun than church softball, that’s for sure.

If you could be on a team with three people of your choice not on your team this year, who would they be and why?

I actually think I answered something like this question earlier in the year….but three people I haven’t played with yet are Rando, White Terry, and Mikey

Last week Nate put up a list of his current all-star teams, which didn’t include yourself or Ben Smith…thoughts?

I actually agreed with all his choices (with stats being as they were then) except that I had Mikey as captain of the World instead of Stud. Nothing personal, but Stud doesn’t have the games played or dedication to the league that his cousin’s part time lover has. Also. There’s still a lot of baseketball left to be played this year. Gavin better show up these last couple weeks and M. Frank better keep with the torrid pace to be there come season’s end.

Is Nate Tomko having his best season ever (and thus the best season ever in the SBL)

Man, that’s a tough one. I’m going to have to say yes just because the stats are going to end up being mind numbing. Still, I think the Tomko of 2004 or 2005 (consider that he only played about 2/3 of the time in 2004) may have been a little more dominating overall.

What’s the dumbest prediction that you’ve made this year?

It would probably be the one about Jamie Moroco having baseketball in her blood and not being able to stay away all season.

Was last week’s Cats/Queens game the best of all time?

No. It really only got exciting when the Cats started to come back in the last couple innings. Even the first battle between the two teams in my mind had more back and forth excitement to it. For my money (and off the top of my head) the greatest game of all time would have been from the 2003 playoff series when the gonads and strife lead by Nate battled the Transexual Heartbreakers of Jared Clayton. It was the two best players (who really didn’t get along all that well) in the league battling to see who would eventually go on to become sbl champion…oh, and it took place in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Who would you most like to see write an article this year that has not?

That would have to be Mikey Moroco. He made an attempt last year with the PTI things…and I thought they were pretty lame. But, I have to admit that a year in college has given Mikey a keen sense of humor that I actually find very humorous. Id really like to see that transfer into a regular article.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Mac's Power Rankings 07-11-2008

Going to Florida, Looking for jobs and golfing with Rando has pretty much taken up my week, but I figured I'd give you guys a little something...and yes, I'm well aware that I'm spending my Friday night writing an article that will only be read by Rando, Nate, Billy, Kip and Ben. Enjoy!

1) The Laser Cats

Two best players of all time…stop…best defensive team ever…stop…have the ability to turn the switch when they need to…stop…may give tomko an aneurism if a slow start costs them the perfect season…especially against Bryan Frankovich this coming weekend…stop…those who think it isn’t a possibility might be taking the surging queens lightly…stop

2) The Queens of the Rest Stop Reach-around

The queens have been the second hottest team during the last few weeks. Despite drawing the ire of sbl brass for the last four years, the head of the Frankovich monster just can’t seem to be cut off. While I definitely am not a fan of the Frankovich captaining style at times, I think anyone who doesn’t give the queens a shot at beating the laser cats this weekend should rethink it…only if stud comes of course. I mean, he has a lineup that could score 15 runs before the Laser Cats reach that 5th inning plateau, it’s at the queens home court, and Frankovich is due to come through against arch nemesis Nate Tomko. If he fails this time, I don’t think we can really call it a rivalry without laughing…unless you mean the type of rivalry that the steelers and browns have had for the last 14 years or so.

3) The Oatcake Hate Monsters

While stars on vacations combined with the pushing back of the SBL schedule ruined what could have been a competitive game against the laser cats last week, im not ready to blow the trade whistle just yet. This team is still capable of beating anyone on any given sunday.

4) Voltron

Disappointing…very disappointing. I’m not sure they would crack the top two even if they played well, but with their talent they should at least be in the discussion.

5) Banana Democracy

I see that others are drinking the Ben Smith cool-aid once again. Seeing as he has had a couple good weeks in a row, he’s bound to turn into Mr. Hyde real soon. Could the comedown be a result of caving to the pressure from others to shoot more long balls? Four years of inconsistency leaves me skeptical that Ben has turned the corner…though the game against the Laser Cats could be a great time to make me eat crow.

6) The Fleshy Funbridges

Man I love the funbridges…but they have a difficult three weeks to end the season.

7) Jukebox Hero

2-0?!!!! Wowsers!

8) The Kyoto Kamikazees

Usually the way to get back on the right track is to make sure that three players show up. I think Mikey’s interest in baseketball has declined this year in favor of women and booze, but I’m really hoping he doesn’t go down as the captain of the most disappointing team in SBL history. They can still turn it around.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Mac's Mailbag 6/28/08

Ben Smith:

Which teams are underachieving right now? Which are overachieving?

I think the Kamikazees and the Queens have been the early disappointments of the year. As far as overachieving, I guess you could go with the banana democracy…who have one and competed in a few games in which they were outclassed.

Can Terry Hall step it up and get into the POTY mix as many pundits predicted?

I’m going to have to agree with Nate that he simply isn’t going to be on the level of the big three. I do however think he’s on the one team on which he doesn’t have to be on that level to make a splash in the postseason.

Katie Kelly:

What SBL team name do you think is the best of all time?

It would be really close between Bukkake Tsunami and Minoriteam. I know the Tsunami came from the overused “odd sexual phrase,” but I loved their shirts.

Who would win in an all girl SBL scrum?

The SBL guys…and in a less important way, Shelley Goodpastor.


Give me a team of possible All Star snubs that you could turn into world title contenders.

Sure. This is assuming a lot, but is possible: Myself, Shelley, Rando, Stud…and Opie coming off the bench.

Cassie “The Assassin” Pyle-Nespor:

What Dewey Decimal call number would you give for baseketball?

Well, the easy thing to day would be to classify it as: DVD FIC BAS, but that would be cheating. In non fiction and most closely related to basketball, it would definitely start with 796.323….but without my copy of DDC I cant really get into location codes and variants.


Which SBL diva should I ask out and why? Who should I avoid?

Wow man. You picked the wrong league for single guys. The more I think of it, I guess every single lady in the SBL has some attachment that could lead to you getting your ass kicked or banished from the SBL...Katie has Terry, Aryn has Nate, and if you tried anything with Shelley I’m pretty sure the gods of the left triple would strike you down on the spot. A kid named O’Mahoney once tried to get fresh with Katie Kelly and his body still hasn’t been found. I think your best bet is to ask Rob about his pierced tongue.


How do you feel about the penalty President Corbett gave KT Kelly last week?

I think I made it fairly clear that I wasn’t a fan. A game earlier, Rando threw shoes, socks, and dead babies on the floor and was allowed to continue in a game that was over the week before. Then the next game Katie gets put in the sin bin during the most important part of a big game for insulting the ref? If we’re passing out penalty innings for questioning the refs, I think there are far bigger culprits than Katie Kelly. While I still think Kip will make a fine president, that’s not change we can believe in.

What do you think of the return of Jared Clayton to Voltron and it’s possible effects on the rest of the season?

Wow, I really wish Voltron played the Laser Cats in week 7 instead of week 6. Give Clayton a week to get back into the swing of things with his new team, and you’ll forget who Terry Shernisky is. He was battling with Nate Tomko while Terry was in high school. But seriously, the thought of he and Billy together is scary.


Why didn’t you go on vacation with us this year?

Honestly I just cant afford it, and it fell on the wrong week. I just moved out of Chambersburg with the intent to find a new job in Western PA. Not a good time to be taking vacations with me having nothing to do but drink heavily.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Mac's Mailbag 06/18/2008

Where has Ben Smith been?

He hasn’t fallen off the face of the earth. In fact, he’s been making changes to the SBL page for me because linux and the SBL page just don’t get along. While I suspect that “car troubles” has been secret code for “my girlfriend doesn’t want to spend her weekend with a bunch of idiots who take a made-up game way too seriously,” Ben has told me that he plans to be a regular in the second half of the year. Now, if we could only get Jon to show up and drop that ridiculous average down a few points.

What does your Oatcake team have to do to knock off the undefeated laser cats?

Well, aside from my idea to give Nate a beer laced with ruffies, I think all of the following have to happen:

1) Shelley has to be there.
2) I have to get out of moving my friend from her apartment and be there
3) The Laser Cats have to get off to a slow start
4) Oatcake has to have two five run innings off the bat
5) Either Nate or Terry needs to have one of those 6 for 12 type games
6) We can’t miss double plays or fail to box out
7) Terry Hall has to play like Terry Hall can
8) We need to score over 25 runs

If all that stuff happens, we have a shot.

Aside from yourself, who is the best of the “good at baseketball but not at basketball” crowd?

Hey now. Basketball certainly wasn’t my sport in high school or ever, but I’ll have you know that Big Rando and I once carried the scrubby duo of Nate and Billy to a third place finish in one those YMCA 3 on 3 things. But I digress…

Hmmm, Jon O was the first to come to mind, but the more I think about it, he might be good at basketball. I think I’ll go with Kip Corbett. I’ve never seen him play, but I’m assuming it isn’t his thing.

A few weeks ago, Nate said that Terry Hall was looking more like Billy and less like one of the big three every game. Your thoughts?

Well, let me start off by saying that being compared to one of the five best players of all time is hardly a slap in the face. But, it is true that Nate, Terry, Clayton, and to a lesser degree, Frankovich, have shown a killer instinct and will to win that is hard to stop. It’s no fluke that teams with one transcendent star with a killer instinct have won every SBL title. Teams with balance like Oatcake may have no problem scoring 18 per game every time out, but what happens when they need to score 30? I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think it was a fair description. Personally, I hope he catches fire and torches the rest of the league.

Will the Laser Cats be considered the greatest team of all time at season’s end?

It’s certainly possible. While they are off to the best start, they certainly aren’t totally demolishing teams like other teams in the past have done. They could never have gotten off to these slow starts against teams like the Double Bluffs or the Thunder Studs. Add in the fact that those teams had to deal with the monetary systems of player point values and it only speaks to the fact that they have a way to go before being considered the best ever.

Which team has the best chance to upset the Cats?

I maintain that the Queens have the best chance. If Bryan, Stud and Aryn show up to play Nate, Terry, and company, they have the talent to match up. While it certainly is no secret that Bryan has a habit of vanishing when he plays Nate’s teams, isn’t he about due?

What do you think should be on the agenda for President-elect Corbett?

I think the era of Kippy will usher in a lot more technology usage. I fully expect there to be more videos taken and perhaps made into an end of the year type video. Some other ideas he’s thrown out there that would be great? An electronic scoreboard and a computerized stat system that will not only make keeping the book easier, but it will sync up to the website for up to the minute stats…which should allow Frankovich to know when to shoot that middle single to boost his average.

After two straight weeks of several players shooting homers strictly for stats, have things gotten out of hand?

Yeah, when Lee was on the path to 100, I thought it was a refreshing chang-up and a good storyline for a struggling funbridge team. When it happened again this past week, I really think the Kamikazies needed to focus more on winning both games that everyone shooting nothing but homers. Stats are one of the coolest things about the SBL, but sometimes the pursuit of these stats can take away from the game.

Which rookie has been the biggest addition this year?

While I’m partial to the kid who doesn’t wear shoes (Gillshire), I have to give it to Opie. He’s pretty awesome, and nobody could call him a ringer.

Who has been the MVP of the first half of the season?

I think you have to go with Nate and Terry as co-mvps right now…but the surprise behind them is Stud. I mean, we have to give him credit for at least a few of Bry Bry’s double plays right? If he plays more than six games in the second half of the season and the Queens surge….watch out.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

SBL Power Rankings 06/18/08

Now that I’ve been there a couple of weeks in a row, I guess I feel qualified enough to pump out a new edition of the SBL Power Rankings. If any of you assholes submit me some questions, I might even answer those in the next couple of days too.

1) Laser Cats

While I’m not quite ready to christen them the best team ever, it is impossible to deny that the Cats are head and shoulders above the other teams in the league this year. Though they have a habit of mailing in the first few innings, the Laser Cats can score in bunches when they have to, and news that Nate isn’t going to be missing time afterall isn’t good news for the rest of their league.

2) Oatcake Hate Monsters

The Hate Monsters certainly belong at number two on the list, but beating up on teams they should beat up on isn’t going to cut it the second half of the season. Getting Shelley back will help fill the gap, but they will need to find a way to win with Mac missing a couple of the next few weeks. We’ll know a lot more after their three games against the cats in the next four weeks.

3) Voltron

Losing to Kyoto last week certainly doesn’t inspire my confidence, and if more than one of the Queens had stuck around last Sunday, Voltron may have been in a different spot. Still, you can’t deny that all of the players on this team have moments that leave us awestruck. I just want to see more consistency on both sides of the ball before I make up my mind on this team.

4) The Queens

How does a team with Aryn Christman leading off, Bryan Frankovich in his prime, and Stud actually coming regularly play .500 baseketball. While I actually think this team has the best chance to hand the Laser Cats a loss this year, they shat the bed the first half of the year…and their problems go deeper than just poor attendance last week.

5) Bananna Democracy

They lost both games this past week, but they also played two of the league’s better teams. Big wins over good teams in the past few weeks give them the street cred to remain at 5.

6) The Fleshy Funbridges

God do I love watching the Funbridges…sadly, they just aren’t very good.

7) Kyoto Kamikazees

SBL superstar entering his prime and out of his lover’s shadow….check

Rookie ringer who seems to be made of more Shernisky than O’mahoney…check

Two SBL HOFers who contribute when they show…check

A Lackey…check

(In short, this team frustrates me.)

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Mac's Mailbag 06/04/08

Does the SBL need to mandate repairs on the hoop at KY court to prevent the insane banking?

I actually think there are far better hoops out there for bank shooting. I’m thinking this is just another way to bust on Frankovich, so I’ll say yes.

Your team struggled mightily last week, what do you guys have to improve on?

I said at the beginning of the year that Terry Hall needed to be the player we all know he is capable of becoming. I could go into a much longer answer, but I think Nate’s power ranking the other pretty much hit all the points, especially the part about the killer instinct. This team has the table setters, but needs someone to be the man. Having me back on defense probably wont hurt much either.

Can Shelley Goodpastor rebound from a disappointing week?

It’s not often Shelley Goodpastor messages me that she can’t shoot anymore. It might have been worse than the time I heard they were canceling Walker, Texas Ranger. Luckily, I was reassured when I read the writeups. Sooner or later, Shelley was bound to have a game in which she didn’t shoot above .500. Since when did 11/22 shots become a bad week? I won’t be taking my Goodpastor poster off the wall just yet.

Now that the league has been banished from Ass Clown, which arena should become the new “Mecca”?

I’ve long been a fan of Hoffe Centre. It has the room, the decent hoop, and SBL sympathetic parents.

Can we expect to see you attending every week from here on out?

A lot of that will depend on my job search. I know that I’ll be missing the weekend of June 21st, but other than that my summer is largely up in the air.

Rumor has it that Billy Weisburg has spurned your advances to be his roommate, is this true?

Billy has assured me that we can still cuddle. As I told him a couple weeks ago, I certainly can’t blame him for wanting to live on his own. After putting up with drunk people passing out/throwing up in his room for several years, the jewish one deserves a homeland to himself if he so chooses. Besides, I still have Kip.

What is one change you think should/will be made in the SBL?

I think Ben Smith needs to get on this SBL 2.0 webpage he’s been talking about for several years.

Who is the most underrated player in the SBL?

Mike Moroco. His poor average this year not withstanding, Mikey seems to be the best player in the league that nobdy ever talks about. Honestly he’s probably in the top 7 players in the league, yet very few people are aware of it.

I know you are really interested in the political scene. Compare the SBL presidential situation to the current political scene.

I’m not sure if the situation will Nate and Kip has blown over after week two, but I really can’t find any comparisons to local politics. The nearest thing I can think of would be the Russian political scene. Putin may not be President anymore, but he is directly responsible for installing Demitri Medvadev and is still the most powerful man in the country. Can you see Nate Tomko giving up all control of the SBL? Would anyone less driven be able to sustain the league? I say no on both counts.

Can anyone stop the Laser Cats this year/should we pick teams differently in the future?

When Nate and Terry are both there, I don’t think any team can beat them. That said, I really don’t think it was meant to be this crazy. I think Nate wanted to be on a competitive team and also add the interest of the league’s two best players having to co-exist. It seems that nobody told Bob and the rest of the other Cats that they were supposed to be somewhere between scrubby and decent to keep things even. Nate and Terry were always going to be good, but it’s been the emergence of Spohn that has really made them go up to an elite level. I’m not ready to blame the league office, especially seeing as how close the teams have been in the past.

What’s been the story of the SBL season thus far?

I think the story is that the league is still thriving after all these years. When I tell people elsewhere about the SBL and show them the webpage, I love their reaction. All of them think it borders on crazy, and half of them think it’s awesome.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Mac's Mailbag 5/16/08

1. How many games played do you see for the following players in 2008: Nate Tomko, Ben Smith, Shelley Goodpastor, Jon Olsavsky, Dennis
Lackey, Jamie Moroco, Jared Clayton, Mikey Moroco, Matt

NT: 15, BS: 18, SG: 9, JO: 17, DL: 4, JM: 20, JC: 10, MM: 21, MM: 14

2. Will we ever see trades in the SBL again? If so, what trades do you think would make sense?

The past two seasons there really haven’t been as many such roster moves, but you have to keep in mind that in the past couple seasons, the teams have been pretty much hand picked by either team captains or people who know something about baseketball. I really think this year you may have a chance to see the trade deadline come into play, as there are in my opinion many more chances for personality/team chemistry clashes than in the last couple. Which teams might you see makes some moves? Well, the three teams that come to mind are…

The Kamikazzes (PJ and John have seemed content in the last couple years to come when it suits them...which is not good for a captain who needs them there every week yet might not have the stones to call and bitch at PJ to come like Nate or Rando would).

Banana Democracy (If a player on the roster isn’t at least in question as far as attendance goes, then he is a rookie…and we all know that sometimes rookies aren’t what they seem. Also, for karma’s sake, I think kippy needs to trade for a girl)

Fleshy Funbridges (If good players are not getting their share of playing time on a good team (see team Hall) then this could be the logical destination. I don’t know anyway who doesn’t enjoy playing with Rando.)

3. If you could make your own team of players you have never played with, who would be on it?

Shernisky, Rando, Pat Nespor and myself

4. If you were to construct your own All-American team, with drinking
ability being the only attribute considered, who would be on it?

Nate, Rando, Ben Smith, Bill, and Wes Davis

5. What is your status for this summer?
This really is a loaded question. The one thing for sure is that I’m going to find a new job and will not be there opening day (or probably the first couple weeks). After that, I see a few distinct possibilities.

1) I find a job in Pittsburgh and come home to play Sundays.
2) I end up moving in with Billy and working back in the valley
3) I take a job with the government in DC and work most every Sunday

Yeah, to make matters worse, I kind of met a girl out here…so nothing is really for certain.

6. Which team (not yours) will you enjoy watching most this year?

The fleshy funbridges!

Funny yet not contrived team name…check
Jaime Moroco on roster…check
Two most likeable GFs in the league…check
Loveable fat rookie who isn’t a ringer…check
Player expected of taking performance enhancers in the past…check
Biggest lightweight/funniest drunk ever (Palini)…check
Captain who cares more about fun than winning…check

What more is there to love?

7. Will we see regular updates to your blog?

It will really depend on how things play out with this new job and where I’m living.

8. Who's the biggest cheater: Bryan Frankovich (picking up ringers unknown to the rest of the league in past drafts), Bill Belichik (videotaping scandal), or Barry Bonds (steroids)?

When Ben Smith starts scraping the bottom of the barrel with questions, it’s obvious.

Ummmmm, I’m going to go with Bonds. At least the other two will admit to their crimes. Barry Bonds insults my intelligence.

9. Who is your dark horse POTY candidate?

Wow, this is going to sound wrong, but I have to say Terry Hall.

10. Rank the seven statistical categories in order of importance.

Didn’t you ask me this same one last year Ben?

1) Games played, 2) RBIs 3)DPs 4) Average 5)Assists 6)HRs 7) POs

11. How does it feel to be in the Hall of Fame? Any speech planned?

It honestly feels very similar to the Player of the Year Award in that I certainly didn’t feel deserving, but apparently was acknowledged for things other than just athletic prowess. Let’s face it, Frankovich came from that same year and he is a much more gifted athlete. Let’s just say it meant a lot. If I were to die tomorrow, I’d want it on my epitaph.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Power Rankings 05/08/2008

Yeah, that’s right bitches…rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated…probably by Ben Smith…that asshole.

1) The Laser Cats

Any time you lead off a roster with the two best baseketballers of all time, you’re going to be the favorites going into the season. I’m not buying into all the talk of the two stars not being able to co-exist. I think both are going to be willing to change their game a little to hoist the left eye at the end of the year. The lame duck President has a habit of winning SBL championships every other year, and I think he has a good shot this year. I have a strong suspicion that this team will be intact come playoff time, and we already know that Terry can play with only one teammate if needed during the regular season.

2) Team Fro

This season looks to be a lot different for young captain Terry Hall. While last year was certainly a painful one, he has the talent to go all the way this year. If the Laser Cats have a team of players that may face chemistry issues at first, team Fro’ will have that going in, as many of the players have played with each other before. The key to their success really will be the emergence of Hall as one of the marquee names in the league, on par with the Frankovichs and Moroccos of the league (if not in the Shernisky/Tomko category). McClelland will certainly miss several weeks at the start of the year, but should be there more as the year goes on. There is also an outside shot that Shelley Goodpastor could be lured out of exile….which would spell doom for the rest of the SBL. My lone critique would be for them to dump these ringers and pick up Big Ted.

3) Team Frank

I don’t know what the hell Frankovich was thinking picking up so many players who dislike him. I’m not talking about the fake rivalry that many of us have with B-Frank either. Big Whitey just does not like him. That said, Bryan is the third best player in the league…and Aryn isn’t far behind.

4) Voltron

I couldn’t agree more with the fact that the best thing that could have happened to Mike Frankovich was to be free of his brother’s captaining. It’s like in that movie A League of Their Own. He’s going to get much better this year playing under Billy. This is certainly the most likeable team in the league…if they traded Gavin St. John for Pat Nespor, they might have the most likeable team of all time. I only wish they had someone with a little more fire to play under the basket with Billy.

5) Kyoto Kamikaze

Morocco better start praying that Jon, PJ and Greg all come regularly…which is a pretty big reach. This could finally be the season that Mikey steps out from B.Frank’s shadow and carries a team of his own. The question is what kind of team will he be carrying.

6) Team Fear the Sun
I don’t know many of the people on Kip’s roster, but I do know Ben and Dennis. I can’t see Dennis showing up week in and week out, and I just don’t see who is going to be the go-to guy on this team. This could change quickly once we get a look at these rookies.

7) The Fleshy Funbridges

The knowledge that Jamie Moroco is boinking some dude that isn’t me certainly plays into this ranking. But almost as scary is the rumor that George “The Juice” Kovac is now drug free and has lost about 30 pounds. We all saw how that worked out for Giambi. Will he be the same player without the Human Growth Hormone or the roid rage? Will he even come for a captain who to my knowledge he has little connection to? Let’s just say I’m looking for Fat Ass Davis to get a lot of action this year…which isn’t a good thing if Rando actually wants to win this year.